Be Warned! This will probably be a very mathematical post.
Hasad: The worst of the diseases of the heart, The first of sins in the skies and the first of sins on Earth.
(Dramatic much? Soaps tend to agree with us on this, judging by the number of envious women they show, out to destroy homes. AND we rest our case:P)
“(I seek refuge)…..From the evil of the envious one when he envies” (Surah Al-Falaq 5)
“Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood.” [ Abu Dawood]
What Makes Hasad:
Miserliness + Greed + Narcissm/Self-obsession + Arrogance => Hasad
Stages Of Hasad:
Stage 1: Feeling of Deprivation
Stage 2: Self-Pity
Stage 3: Why me?
Stage 4: Why THEM? (Snow White`s step-mom people? Poison all those “fair-er” then me.)
The problem with Hasad is that it reeks of bigger problems. Discontentment being one of them. Wanting what others have is a sign that:
1. One is displeased of one`s lot in life (The “Why me?!” Attitude).
2. One places too much importance on the Dunya.
Allah, the Exalted, has therefore forbidden us from desiring what other have, “Do not wish for what we have favored some of you over others.” [Soorah an-Nisa (4): 32]
According to Ibn Taimiya (r) , hasad is always accompanied by hatred. This is one of the evils of hasad. First the person is envious of the other person. After some time, this envy develops into hatred.
When the Prophet (S) was asked who are the best of people? He replied: “the one with a clean heart and truthful tongue.” They asked: ‘We understand a truthful tongue, but what does a clean heart mean?’ he answered: ‘It is the heart of one that is pious, pure, and is free of sin, transgressions, hatred and Hasad.” [Ibn Majah]
Signs of Hasad-How to Look for it WITHIN (NOT in others Bushra:P)
According to Ibn Uthaymin, one of the strong signs that a person is inflicted with the disease of hasad is that he always tries to conceal the virtues and goodness of others. He does not like it when others talk about the good that a person has done. He remains silent and pretends like he does not know of the good that the other one has done.
[Ibn Uthaymin, Sharh Riyadh, vol. 4, p. 707.]
Tariq (to wife) : Your mother Shahida na? She`s such a graceful woman.
Look for the signs. If hearing others being praised annoys you, then its time for some action honey!
1. Recite Surah Fatiha (cz it teaches one to grateful about one`s lot in life. It helps us to see the bigger picture i.e “All praise is For Him”. Hence why be envious when others are being praised?)
2. Make du`a for the person you feel envy for.
3. If you feel that you are jealous of a specific person, then buy him a gift, shake hands with him and give him salaams for Hasad is the result of hatred and the Prophet (s) said: “Shake hands, for this will dispel rancor, and exchange gifts and love one another, for this will dispel hatred.” [Narrated by Maalik in al-Muwatta (1413)]
4. Make du`a for yourself. Allah s.w.t said in the Qur’aan: “And those who came after them say: ‘Our Lord! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in Faith and put not in our hearts any hatred against those who have believed. Our Lord! You are indeed full of kindness, Most Merciful.” [Soorah al-Hashr (59): 10]
Permissible Envy=Islam permits Ghibtah
“Envy is allowed in two cases, in case of a man whom Allah has given the Qur’aan and who recites it throughout night and day; and a man on whom Allah has bestowed wealth who gives it away throughout night and day.” [Bukhari, Muslim]
The Sinister Workings of Bushra`s Heart And Mind:
Scenario 1 (Hurt By Shahida) :
Hurt by Shahida > angered > malice > urge for revenge > desires harm for Shahida> feelings of glee when Shahida is facing problems and feeling JUSTIFIED (“Meray jesa suit ban alia na, bohat acha hua maasi ne jala dia.Allah ki lathi be-awaz hai”)
Scenario 2 (When Shahida Is Happy)
Shahida got an awesome deal at a Lawn exhibition> Bushra goes green with envy > torturing self with negative thoughts whilst Shahida blissfully unaware enjoys her new dress.
Discontentment comes from the slave’s ignorance of his Lord. If he recognizes his Lord with the attributes of Perfection, All-Knowledgeable and All-Just to his slaves, he would not be discontent and as a result would not develop Hasad.
Imam Ibn Qayyim (r) said: “It (contentment) opens the door of peace and security for the slave.”
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” — Roald Dahl
Oh that Bushra would understand! Because:
Wealth is not in having vast riches, it is in contentment. (Bukhari, Muslim)
*Adapted from the lectures of Ustadha Mahwish Zafar, Huma Najm ul Hassan and Various Sources on the Internet.*